Philosophy Bro →
A Summary of Camus's 'Myth of Sisyphus':...
Look, so, nothing matters, right? Shit’s fucking weird. We all want to know how the universe ultimately works or who’s running the show or whatever, and it turns out - TRICK. FUCKING. QUESTION. No one’s running the show, and the world is unreasonable. Ever had some shit happen to you that made you go, “Why the fuck did that happen? There’s no reason for that.”...
The Letter 'C' Stands for Christmas
and Coursework. and Crabs. and Cocaine. and Cancer. and Cockroaches. and Cesareans. and Crime. and that body of crust you get on your skin as a result of blood coagulation. I’m not particularly fond of Christmas. (Or rather, the ‘Holidays’)
On A Roll
I called Cathay Pacific, First Great Western, a taxi cab, and some friends this morning to sort out my flight and farewells. All-in-all it took me about two hours to do all this because, given the present circumstances, getting to talk to a customer service representative is about as difficult as restraining yourself from holding an 11 day-old bunny. FUCK. SO. DIFFICULT. So I’ve just...
Things About This Morning
The Good: - I watched a film - I made wonderful pancakes - I exercised for the first time in weeks - I just saved £135 on my first-class train to Paddington. The Bad: - The film was A Serbian Film - The pancakes are drowning in syrup thanks to the inefficient packaging of the Lyle’s Golden brand. (Not my fault at all, guys. I just forgot halfway through reading page 143 of Haunted...
Don’t bend; don’t water it down; don’t try to make it logical; don’t edit your...– Franz Kafka (via theunabridgedjournalsof)
The Greatest Story Ever Told
Sleep can be as difficult to get as a packet of gravy on the top shelves. The idea of working towards relaxing seems a bit redundant at the face of it. Also, if you’re reading this - don’t ever watch Avatar: The Last Airbender. Watching it, I couldn’t help but feel like it came to be as a result of M. Night Shyamalan taking an empty film reel and shitting all around the vacant...
Every Day Is A Struggle
Today, I choked on a raisinet because for some reason my unconscious response to the stimuli of seeing a single one stray away from its half-ripped package is to immediately put it in my mouth. I immediately regretted the decision, having realised that I’d just brushed my teeth. There’s nothing wrong with eating after you brush your teeth; I usually do it but not within the span of ten...
is a vernacular-based acronym which basically means, ‘can’t be assed’. Now let’s look at the linguistic/alphabetical opposite of CBA: ABC. ABC, with regards to the alphabet, is a natural progression that we’re all too familiar with. Now let’s take ‘progression’ as a concept, which according to the Princeton dictionary is ‘the act of moving...
The Best Shit Ever, On The 13th of December →
How To Make Sex Look Profound
Sex & Sony DSLR + Feelings + Dialogue + LGBT + Long Hair + Extra Attention to Fingers + Blankets + Orgasm Phace + Bed Beside a Window * Contrast/Macro/Monochrome/Sepia / Physically Ugly People
Those who believe in telekinetics, raise my hand.– Kurt Vonnegut
I'm At This Point
in my social science essay where I’ve started writing shit like: We define the many people we once were, are, and will be by taking into deep consideration the consequences of the past, the possibilities of the present, and the promises of the future. This usually entails that I’m in that mood where I can write anything on Microsoft Word and sound like Albert fucking Bandura or...
Taking Him Back
mybiggestregretever: My biggest regret ever is taking him back. He’s cheated on me more than 10 times in the 3 years we’ve been together. Just recently, he made out/felt up/fingered another girl. I’m weak, and keep taking him back. I hate myself and him for still loving him and not having the guts to leave him. [Female, 16] Lovin’ the exponential rise in action (its magnitude)...
Every Once In A While
I question the state of my gender. This has nothing to do with sexuality. No proverbial closets here. But back to the point. Sometimes, you just have to ask - Why am I a boy, and not a girl? Or vice versa. Sometimes I wonder if life would be easier had I been born differently. Exist again, except With breasts, and lady bits, and the bleeding. Yes, the bleeding. Especially the bleeding. I...
My Usual Reaction to thedailywhat Posting the...
I’m still laughing. I’m still laughing after half a fucking hour. I haven’t even bothered watching it beyond the first time, and I’m still laughing.
S: Dude, my left nipple is bleeding. I mean, check the stain on my undershirt, I'm sure it is. I'm lactating blood.
R: Isn't 'lactating' limited to milk?
S: Yeah, but I don't know the word for the secretion of blood from male chest glands.
R: They should make one.
S: I guess so.
R: Do you think you might be miraculously pregnant with a vampire?
Is when you’re trying to sleep, and the sole of your foot is as irritatingly itchy as the feeling your bare nipples get against a loosely knitted shirt, made solely of stinging caterpillars.
A long, long time ago, in a city approximately 5345.24 miles from where I live now, I was a three-day game tester for Spongebob Squarepants: Lights, Camera, Pants! The sudden nostalgia came to me due to a dream I had last night where I found myself in the interns’ office at WayForward studios, meticulously pressing buttons A, B, and the triggers in varying patterns in hope of, as the...
Give me your heart so that I may give mine to the world.
Why I'm Not Where You Are: 5/21/63
By Jonathan Safran Foer To my unborn child: I haven’t always been silent, I used to talk and talk and talk and talk, I couldn’t keep my mouth shut, the silence overtook me like a cancer, it was one of my first meals in America, I tried to tell the waiter, “The way you just handed me that knife, that reminds me of—” but I couldn’t finish the sentence, her name...